Caroline Carr: Depression affects everyone’s life in one way or another – either directly through experiencing it yourself, or indirectly through loving or caring about someone who does. It is likely to be the result of a combination of some of the following: life circumstances – what has occurred, and what is occurring in the person’s life, the type of personality a person has, and how they deal with things generally, whether or not depression runs in the family, genes and DNA.

Depression can come on suddenly as the result of a trauma or stressful event – although it may not show up till some time afterwards. Or it can build up for years. Some people can have one bout during their lives – or several. Others feel sad and gloomy for months or years. In some cases, it never really goes away.

When a person is depressed, they can become so focused on their negative thoughts and feelings, that it becomes their normal mood state. They can’t seem to break this. To them, everything has a down side – as if they are stuck in an ever-shrinking, oppressive mental black box. They cannot just ‘snap out of it’ – they would if they could, because all they want is to feel better. People describe feeling as if their life is spiralling out of control; therefore any unhelpful behaviour is likely to be a result of that.

Everyone’s experience differs, and this may change as they sink into a deeper state of depression. It is thought that men and women experience and deal with depression differently too. Some people feel and exhibit anger, some do not. Many people do not have the energy to be angry. They may be in a state of lethargy and hopelessness.

Different types of depression are more debilitating than others – and more serious.

Categories and types include:

Bipolar Disorder (manic depression)
Generally characterized by severe mood swings – ‘up’ periods of mania with huge surges of energy and activity, and sometimes irritability and anger, then severe crashing ‘lows’ – the depression. Some people only experience these occasionally, and others may have up to five or six episodes a year. For more details see: www.mdf.org.uk

Post-natal depression:
This can be very serious, and the mother and others around her may not recognise it for what it is. Often it doesn’t show up until months after the baby is born.  A woman suffering with post natal depression needs a great deal of support.  For more details see: http://www.pni-uk.com/ , and  www.apni.org

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD):
SAD affects some people over the winter months due to reduced exposure to light. This is thought to affect the chemistry in the brain. It is fairly common in the UK, and the symptoms are similar to those of depression.  But, some people are affected adversely by bright sunlight and hot weather too, particularly if they are experiencing high levels of anxiety. For more details, see the article on Healthy Soul: Are you sad?

Clinical Depression 
This is when a person’s mood is generally low, and this affects all aspects of their life for longer than a few weeks. Often, it’s not triggered by anything in particular.  It seems to come from a shift or change ‘within’ the person, and there may be no obvious reason for it. 

I think it’s really important to see the doctor in the first instance, because any symptoms could be due to something else, such as another illness or infection, or a deficiency of some kind. Assuming that there are no medical issues though, treatment offered usually includes medication, often combined with talking therapy such as psychotherapy or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). However, many complementary therapies work really well in the treatment of depression.

Here are a few links to organisations who are doing fantastic work to raise awareness and to provide information and support about depression and other aspects of mental health:

www.sane.org.uk
www.mind.org.uk
www.depressionalliance.org
www.blackdogtribe.com
www.rethink.org
There is also: www.nhs.uk/Pages/HomePage.aspx
And my own organisation to support partners: www.mypartnerisdepressed.com

Caroline Carr is the founder of  http://www.mypartnerisdepressed.com/. She is a hypnotherapist and life coach and the author of  Living With Depression – how to cope when your partner is depressed.
 

In May thousands of British teenagers will start their GCSEs and A-levels, and uni students will face exams. They all need to be on top form to stay healthy, calm and alert. Interviews, driving tests, public speaking and exams can turn the calmest people into quivering wrecks.

It’s tempting to reach for chocolate bars, crisps, sugary drinks and caffeine boosters such as Red Bull and Pro Plus  to keep going, but unfortunately these are often counter-productive. Too much sugar in the body can bring about mood swings and poor concentration, while healthy eating and drinking plenty of water help much more.

REMEMBER:

• Take a bottle of water in with you – your brain needs fluid.
• Conversely go to the loo before the exam so you don’t have to cross your legs throughout.

Life coach, Carole Gaskell, advises:

· ’Focus on the big picture on what you want to achieve – not just the test or the exam, as they are a means to an end. This helps to lift the pressure slightly and make the brain clearer;

• Believe that as long as you give it your best shot you’ll be fine;
• Visualise feeling good during the exam instead of nervous and stressed, and imagine a positive outcome and how you will feel when you get good results.’

‘We all carry our own reality in our heads with words buzzing around so make them positive. Say positive things to yourself such as “I owe it to myself to do my best”.’

Getting zzzzzs

Stephen Palmer, director of the Centre for Stress Management, has a few tips:

• ‘It’s helpful to get into a routine before going to bed so that you calm down and can sleep well;
• Don’t do anything too exciting, like watching a horror film;
• Maybe read a book, drink a glass of milk – avoid Coke or anything with caffeine in it – and unwind.’

He also suggests:

• Playing some relaxing music before bedtime;
• Making sure the bedroom isn’t cluttered.

• Put a few drops of lavender or geranium essential oils into a night time bath to relax you;
• Put a couple of drops of Lavender oil on a tissue under the pillow;
• Take the herb Valerian half an hour before bedtime to promote normal sleep: a trial on students at the University of Surrey found that after a seven day course of Valerian the volunteers were more relaxed and found tests less stressful without feeling dopey - if on medication consult your GP before taking herbal medicines.
• Drink a glass of milk at night, rather than coffee or fizzy drinks which contain stimulating caffeine.

Eating for energy

Nutritionist, Natalie Savona, stresses the importance of good eating when you’re doing exams.

‘It’s so tempting for kids doing exams to put off their meals and just snack on crisps and chocolate. This often puts them off eating a proper meal when they need to be well fuelled.

‘Eating sugary snacks such as chocolate and drinking soft drinks and coffee gives you a short burst of energy but it doesn’t last. And it interferes with blood sugar levels so you get slumps of mood and concentration and brain fatigue.

To calm nerves, boost brainpower and keep you healthy Natalie recommends a high fibre diet:

‘When you get stressed all the body’s energy is diverted to deal with how you are feeling. Less energy is put into the digestive system and for that reason people start to get stomach problems – nervous diarrhoea, bloating and feeling sick.’

Natalie recommends a healthy energy-boosting diet:

• Fish – particularly oily types like mackerel and tuna – because it builds healthy brain cells;
• Fruit and vegetables which are rich in nutrients to keep the system in top gear;
• Plenty of fibre – brown rice and wholegrains such as lentils and beans, wholemeal bread and pastas.
• Healthy snacks – fruit and vegetables, nuts or seeds, or even healthy snack bars.

‘A really good meal is tinned tuna, baked potato, cottage cheese and salad.’

‘To cope with the stress,’ Natalie suggests,’Vitamin C and Vitamin B are particularly needed, so taking a good multivitamin every day will help.’

Breakfast is essential

Natalie also stresses the importance of a good breakfast: ‘Scrambled eggs on wholemeal toast or eggs with bacon provide plenty of protein. Try to avoid sugary cereals. If they’re going to sit in a three hour exam they don’t want to be starving in the middle of it.’

Confidence boosting

Lack of confidence can make a capable person under-perform, but natural flower essences encourage self-assurance.

• Seven drops of Australian Bush Flower Confidence Essence morning and night under the tongue at night brings out positive qualities and confidence, and prevents subconscious negative beliefs!
• For anyone who doesn’t expect to do well the Bach Flower Remedy, Larch builds up confidence;
• Gentian Bach Flower Remedy helps someone who hasn’t got much faith in themselves, particularly if they didn’t do well in the mocks.

The nation’s women are obsessed with losing weight but frequently don’t succeed.  Healthy Soul does not advocate miracle diets, but like nutritionists we believe that it’s important to change your diet and lifestyle to make them a way of life, rather than short-term.

Clare Grace, research dietician at the Queen Mary University of London reports: ‘Weight gain occurs when the number of calories eaten is greater than the number used by the body.” [i] In fact, to gain, and therefore lose 1lb in weight, you’ll need to eat – or avoid – an extra 3,500 calories.’

Top tips to lose weight:

1.    Oranges and lemons – It makes for a refreshing start to the day, but that glass of orange juice packs a calorific punch with around 110kcals for a 250ml glass [ii]. Shave 100 calories from your morning tipple by replacing orange juice with a blend of PLj Lemon Juice and water.  At less than 7kcals per glass, it also delivers 75 per cent of the RDA of vitamin C in every serving so makes good sense all round!
2.    Banish the biscuit tin – It probably comes as no surprise, but biscuits are crammed with calories – just two Hobnobs clock up 142kcals!  For a more nutritious snack, nibble on a kiwi fruit and a Satsuma, just  14kcals and 18kcals a piece.
3.    Have open sandwiches – To save on the calorie content, think Scandinavian and opt for an open sandwich, using one slice of bread rather than two, which will save you around 100kcals.  Add a side salad and fat-free dressing to make it more interesting and healthy.
4.    Season for the season – Rather than smothering steamed vegetables with lashings of butter, sprinkle them with lemon juice and fresh herbs for great flavor and low calories.
5.    Smaller glasses –Every 250ml glass of wine provides 185kcals, so opt for a small glass (89kcals for 120ml) to get the taste, but not the calories.

It’s not just about cutting calories from your daily diet though – you can also make a difference by moving more throughout the day to speed up your calorie burning potential.

[1][i] Source: Netdoctor (http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/womenshealth/features/dietmyths.htm)

[1][ii] Source: All calorie estimates from www.weightlossresources.co.uk

When I wrote the book Stress – The Essential Guide, the thing that became most obvious to me was how most people don’t really help themselves.  We have so many habits and idiosyncrasies, beliefs and obsessions that we often do things in a way that make life much more difficult for ourselves.  So I included a paragraph called Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?

This is not meant to be harsh. If you have lost someone close to you, you or someone close to you is seriously ill, you’ve been through divorce, or lost your job you are more than likely to feel very stressed. But you do need to be good to yourself when this is happening. There are so many ways that we aggravate situations. 

For example:

• You might be a perfectionist – always wanting everything to be just so.
• You may procrastinate – putting things off until they overwhelm you.
• You may have been brought up with very strong beliefs or prejudices which don’t serve you well and  mean you cannot accept certain situations.
• Perhaps you are in denial and cannot face things, thereby making things worse for yourself.
• Or maybe you are proud and don’t like to tell people when things are going wrong.
• You might find it impossible to say no, even when you really don’t want to do something.
• And similarly you are always doing things for other people, when you have plenty on your plate already.

It’s not easy to change your personality without some serious work on yourself, and that’s where counselling can really help.  Understanding why you do things is a great start to trying to stop them. Do you do things because you’re still trying to please your parents, even if they’re not even here any more? 

There’s no doubt that it’s easier to make changes when you’re in the good times, but it’s likely that you are only faced with these problems when things are getting out of control. Stress is a feeling of being unable to cope with the pressure upon you, so it’s a good idea not to put pressure on yourself and stop being so hard on yourself.

Stress – The Essential Guide, £9.99, from Need2Know

Twice as many people have hay fever as they did 20 years ago  with 16 million now suffering each year in the UK. Among these 95 per cent are affected by grass pollen, but many suffer from the tree pollens that are abundant from the spring (see below).  The numbers may have increased due to the number of allergens we have in our daily lives – chemicals and pollution, plus poor diet, and sanitised environments that don’t build strong immune systems.

If you’re one of the Brits who sneeze and wheeze through the early part of the summer there is plenty you can do to try to alleviate the symptoms. But it’s better to start early as some of the natural remedies below work better if taken in advance.

Hayfever is an allergic reaction to pollen or mould which the body reacts to as alien substances. It causes numerous symptoms:

• Sneezing
• Runny, red and itchy eyes
• Blocked nose
• Wheezing
• Itchy throat
• Coughing
• Headaches and tiredness
• Sleep problems

Although it’s unpleasant the body is dealing with the alien substance by trying to get rid of it through sneezing and runny nose and eyes. Not surprisingly all this makes people feel very run down and unwell for as long as it lasts.

Types of pollen

Different people react to different pollens such as:

• Grass pollen – May, June, July, August
• Tree pollen – from February to May (oak, elm, ash, birch, hazel)
• Mould spores – May to October
• Weeds such as nettle can also cause problems (June to mid-August)

Most people are affected by grass pollen
Some people are allergic to them all and many people who have hayfever also react to other things such as house dust mites, animal fur, and chemicals, and they may have eczema and asthma too.

And the strange thing is you can get to any age and have hayfever for the first time – this is particularly likely if it is a hot summer and pollution levels are high.

Where you live

If you live in the south-east, the Midlands, north-east or central Scotland, particularly in a city you are more likely to suffer than people in most of Scotland and Wales, the north and the west country. The pollen season is shorter in Scotland and Wales and places like Devon or the Lake District benefit because of mountains and moorland.

What can you do about it?

You can go to the doctor who will give a prescription for antihistamine tablets, nasal sprays, eye drops and even injections, but many of these can cause drowsiness and increasing numbers of people prefer to look for natural remedies without side effects.  You could try a nasal wash – with a tiny bit of salt in warm water, or beetroot juice (if you can bear it) to clear out the nostrils. You can buy neti pots that enable you to do this easily – it has a little spout. This isn’t a pleasant experience and you might prefer one of the nasal sprays below.

There are herbal remedies, homeopathic remedies, and nutritional advice that can all help to minimise symptoms.

A few self-help tips

• Avoid grassy areas particularly in the early evening when the count peaks
• Inhale steam with a few drops of basil, tea tree in to soothe nostrils
• Net curtains help to trap pollen
• Rub some olive oil on the inside of your nose to trap pollen
• Keep windows closed where possible
• Shower and wash hair after being outside to eliminate all traces of pollen
• Do not mow the lawn
• Wear sunglasses to keep pollen away from eyes

Herbal Remedies

There are a variety of remedies which are available as drops, tablets or nasal sprays.

• Luffa is little known but believed by nutritional experts such as Alison Cullen from Ayrshire to be the ‘number one treatment’. Clears a blocked or runny nose, and watery red eyes but has no side-effects, and children can take it. Start two weeks before the hayfever season is in force.
• Echinacea can be taken from one month before the hayfever season and then combined with Luffa.
• Euphrasia as a herbal tincture can ease watery sore eyes.
• Nettle for people who get skin rashes as well – a natural antihistamine;
• Butterbur – can help when the season starts and if hayfever has got a real hold

Quercetin is a substance found in onions that is believed to stabilise the body’s cells that produce histamine and cause the allergic response (sniffing, sneezing, wheezing). It is enhanced by Bromelain, an enzyme found in pineapples, which is said to help the absorption of quercetin into the body.

Homeopathy

According to homeopath Sue Leach, ‘Homeopathy not only eases hayfever symptoms but gets to the heart of the reason for the symptoms. That means that at worst you get substantial relief from your suffering and at best you could never have it again!

‘If someone consults a homeopath it is their own symptoms that are treated, not everyone else’s. A remedy is chosen which matches each person’s specific triggers after the homeopath has investigated the background – such as family tendency towards hayfever, and what other allergies are present.’

Visiting a homeopath before the season starts is important, preferably in the autumn so the body is prepared for the onslaught of pollen in the spring. If this isn’t possible there are several remedies that are available:

• Euphrasia (in homeopathic form) is good for anyone suffering with watery, red, burning eyes;
• Allium cepa – made from red onion and for the symptoms that onions produce such as sore tearful eyes.
• Sabadilla officinarum is good for violent sneezing and an itchy nose.
• All three are combined in Nelson’s Pollenna.

Food intolerances

Quite often food intolerances can induce or aggravate hay fever. Most commonly, according to nutritionist, Ingrid Haitink these are usuallyl wheat and dairy.  Try giving up each one for the hay fever season and see if symptoms are better or don’t appear at all.

What not to eat

• Saturated fats in red meat and full cream milk make hay fever worse
• Alcohol and sugary foods deplete the immune system
• Citrus fruit may aggravate symptoms

What to eat

Ingrid recommends:

• Highly coloured fruit and veg containing Vitamin C – a natural antihistamine and Beta Carotene – which produces Vitamin A in the body that strengthens the lining of the nose:  carrots, apricots, plums, sweet potatoes, beetroot, berries, peppers, papaya.
• Plenty of antioxidants – all fruit and vegetables which are rich in Vitamins A, C, E, zinc and selenium all of which support the immune system. If you have a juicer choose the following to get an antioxidant boost: carrots, ginger, beetroot, apple, watermelon.
• Omega 3s and 6s – oily fish rich in essential fatty acids which have anti-inflammatory properties:  mackerel, sardines, salmon, tuna and herrings.
• Quercetin rich foods –which is antioxidant, anti-inflammatory and reduces the release of histamine: garlic, onions and apples.

The British Association of Nutritional Therapists: 08706 061284, www.bant.org.uk
British Homeopathic Association, 0207 566 7800, www.trusthomeopathy.org
National Institute of Medical Herbalists, 01392 426022, www.nimh.org.uk
Sue Leach practises at Boldre Homeopathic Practice, 01590 624020, www.newforesthomeopathy.co.uk

For further information: Allergy Foundation, Helpline 9a.m. to 9 p.m. 0208 303 8583, http://www.allergyfoundation.com

Despite a very sunny March the fact is that many people in the UK are deficient in Vitamin D at this time of year, because exposure to the sun is the main source (90 per cent) of Vitamin D.  Health experts have been warning about the dangers of deficiency which can include osteoporosis, heart disease and maybe even cancer.

Arthritis Research UK, a leading charity, has warned that a deficiency in Vitamin D can lead to bone loss, poor muscle function and an increased risk of falls and fractures – an increasing problem as people get older.  Chief Medical Officers have recently advised that  young children, pregnant and breastfeeding women and the over 65s should be taking supplements.   Not only is Vitamin D essential for the bones and heart it is also needed for a healthy immune and nervous system, enables blood to clot normally and maintains healthy teeth.

Why we become deficient:

• In northern countries we have six months of very little sun.
• Winter sun in the UK is not strong enough for Vitamin D to be made in the body.
• Few people get enough Vitamin D from their diet.
• The skin cancer message may have been taken to extremes – we need sunlight, but not excessive sun bathing.
• Vitamin D in the body only lasts for three weeks.
• Some people cover up their bodies for religious or fashion reasons.

All things in moderation mean that you don’t have to lie in the hot sun for hours on end to get enough exposure. A sensible amount of exposure (20 to 30 minutes) will do more good than harm, particularly on sunny summer days that aren’t necessarily hot.

Vitamin D is essential for healthy immune function, cognitive function, and bone health.
 

Dietary sources:

• Salmon and other oily fish
• Eggs
• Milk
• Liver
• Margarine
• Fortified breakfast cereals

Health experts claim that people are not eating enough of the above. In the US the recommended daily levels of intake of Vitamin day are 5 mcg a day.

Problems caused by Vitamin D deficiency
A deficiency in Vitamin D activates the mechanism that boosts blood pressure; stimulates the parathyroid hormone which increases inflammation, and increases insulin resistance – insulin is not recognised by the body, leading to high blood sugar levels.

• High blood pressure/hypertension
• Heart disease
• Alzheimer’s
• Diabetes
• Osteoporosis – affects 1.2 million women in the UK
• Colo-rectal and breast cancers
• Rickets (severe deficiency)

Since smoking in public places in the UK was banned,  it’s not uncommon to see huddles of workers outside their workplaces smoking in the street.  Isn’t it much easier to give up?

• There are 10 million smokers in the UK, the majority of whom are young people.
• Two thirds of smokers took up the habit before the age of 18.
• Every year 100,000 people in the UK die due to smoking related diseases.
• One in seven 15 year olds smoke, with more girls smoking than boys.
• Smoking related diseases cost the NHS £2.7 billion a year.
• 80 per cent of smokers take up cigarettes in their teens

Progress over time

There are 12 million people in Britain who have already given up, but  21 per cent of the population still smoke. 

In the past people weren’t aware that smoking was dangerous, and in the 1930s and 40s it was even considered glamorous. In 1948 82 per cent of British men smoked, and 41 per cent of women.

Smoking is the worst thing you can do for your health

• 90% of lung cancer deaths are due to smoking.
• 80% of bronchitis and emphesema deaths are due to smoking.
• 1/3 of cancer deaths are due to smoking.

Positive health prospects

The body is very resilient and health benefits are quick to realise. According to ASH, the anti-smoking public health charity:

•20 minutes after quitting: blood pressure and pulse rate return to normal;
•Two hours later: nicotine and carbon monoxide levels in the blood reduce by half and oxygen levels return to normal ;
•24 hours: carbon monoxide eliminated from the body, lungs start to clear out mucus and other debris;
•48 hours: no nicotine left in the body;
•72 hours: breathing easier, bronchial tubes relax and energy levels increase
•2-12 weeks: improved circulation;
•3-9 months: coughs, wheezing and breathing problems improve as lung function increases by up to 10 per cent;
•One year: risk of heart attack halved;
•10 years: risk of lung cancer halved;
•15 years: risk of heart attack falls to level of a permanent non-smoker.

Around 70 per cent of adult smokers want to quit and 86 per cent have already tried but failed. The benefits are all too obvious, not just in health terms but also to the smokers’ wallet – a 20 a day smoker spends almost £1,700 every year on their habit.

The good news is there is plenty of help at hand. Anyone can go to an NHS Stop Smoking clinic by referral from a GP, midwife or pharmacist (Local Stop Smoking Services, 0800 169 0169). You get to talk to an adviser and may be offered nicotine replacement therapy or Zyban, a prescription drug.

Nicotine Replacement Therapy:

Published trials claim that using nicotine replacement therapy to quit smoking doubles your chances compared with plain and simple willpower.  You can see your doctor about NRT.

•There is a wide variety of choice of NRT methods available on prescription including patches, gum, sprays, inhalers, tablets and lozenges.
•They all provide lower levels of nicotine than cigarettes which is absorbed into the bloodstream and is enough to relieve craving and withdrawal symptoms.
Available on prescription and over the counter at chemists.

Dispelling the illusion the Easyway

Boasting a 90 per cent success rate the Allen Carr Easyway method incorporates just one four and a half hour session with a trained therapist who:

•Dispels common misconceptions about smoking, such as its calming and confidence-boosting effects;
•Also included is a brief hypnotherapy session to reinforce the message.

Those people who give up smoking as a result of Allen Carr sessions claim that they come out of the session with a completely changed view about the habit, and the majority don’t go revert to smoking.

For details of the nearest Allen Carr clinic contact: 0800 389 2115 (Freephone), www.allencarr.com

Blocking the nicotine

For people who find that they don’t know what to do with their hands when they quit NicoBloc provides a chance to give up gradually.

Drops of NicoBloc are put on each cigarette where it solidifies and blocks the amount of tar and nicotine inhaled.

The gradual build-up starts with one drop in the first week, two drops the next week and so on.

Eventually there is so little nicotine being inhaled and taken into the blood stream that the desire for smoking diminishes.

Available from chemists.

Natural alternatives

 It might be possible to get complementary therapies for quitting smoking on the NHS, at The Christie Hospital in Manchester, for instance where they use aromatherapy, reflexology, hypnotherapy and acupuncture as part of their smoking cessation programme.

Acupuncture can help

Acupuncture stimulates the body to release endorphins which help to induce a sense of calm and relaxation. 

•Needles are usually placed in the ear during a session – this is often called auricular acupuncture.

•Sometimes one or more is left in to help people cope with cravings and withdrawal symptoms.

For acupuncturists in your area contact the British Acupuncture Council: 020 8735 0400, www.acupuncture.org.uk

Changing behaviour – Hypnosis and NLP

A study of 6,000 smokers found that hypnosis was three times as successful as nicotine replacement therapy in helping people to give up.

Sometimes available on the NHS but mostly you have to pay for these.  The combination of hypnosis and NLP is often used to help people quit smoking as hypnosis works on the sub-conscious mind, and NLP provides ways of changing behaviour on a conscious level.

National Register of Hypnotherapists and Psychotherapists: 01282 716839), www.general-hypnotherapy-register.com

More information on giving up smoking: http://www.smokefree.nhs.uk and www.ash.org.uk

One of the most difficult aspects of depression is that few people recognise when they are feeling really bad. It often takes someone else close to you to point it out before it registers, but it’s not uncommon for someone with depression to be in denial.  This particularly impacts on partners, who are living with them every day and who know them well enough to recognise the signs.
Immediately this can cause conflict that can lead to relationship problems, and in some cases can result in break up. So how can anyone deal with a depressed partner?

Caroline Carr, hypnotherapist and life coach, has started a website, www.mypartnerisdepressed.com 020 7467 8517 or  01202 731385 to provide guidance to people in this situation. She also offers workshops and consultations, and has an e-book on her website that you can download free of charge.  See at the end of the article for details of a competition to win a free session with Caroline.

Caroline is kindly offering her time to one lucky winner (£500 prize value), either in person in Dorset or London, or through four telephone coaching sessions.To win a session with Caroline please email vitality@pegasuspr.co.uk with the title ‘Healthy Soul competition’  before 31st March 2012.

Caroline has personal experience of this issue, and she says, ‘As a partner you can get emotional shocks because you don’t know what to expect and when. Communication goes wrong between you and you may feel worried, hurt, angry, dejected and eventually you build up resentment.  The main message I give is that this is not the partner’s fault. You need to take an emotional step back from your partner to avoid getting sucked in, or you can find yourself getting depressed as well.’

This is of course much easier said than done, but Caroline teaches people a range of strategies and techniques to help themselves to step back from the situation and avoid become embroiled. ‘You need to stay strong and have your own life. Many people find it hard to be selfish, but you can do this with compassion and kindness as you do have to protect yourself.’

This is particularly important when there are children in the family too.  ‘My advice is to talk to children, making it age appropriate. They pick up on the vibes even if they are very young, and they can feel the hostility and aggression that’s below the surface. As soon as they can understand it’s perfectly acceptable to say, “Mum/Dad is not very well and that’s why they are behaving like that.”  It’s so important that they don’t blame themselves.

‘Depression is so intangible and it eats into every aspect of life.  It can have many causes – something that has happened in the past, hormone imbalances, deficiencies in certain nutrients, or something more obvious that has happened recently, such as bereavement.

‘I sometimes find that under hypnosis people discover something happened in their lives that they don’t even remember, but which has been making them feel bad ever since.’

We still live in a society where depression is a taboo. ‘People still aren’t good about discussing their feelings, and if you confide in someone who doesn’t react well it can make things even worse,’ Caroline continues.  ‘You have to get into the mindset that it’s OK to think about your own needs, and recognise that you are on your own path in life and you don’t want to be pulled off it.’
 
Caroline Carr will be holding free talks at this year’s Vitality Show (London’s Earls Court 2, 22nd-25th March) entitled ‘Zippy Women’ in the One Life Theatre on Friday at 2:30pm and Saturday at 1:30pm. She will also be holding a workshop entitled ‘How Not to Worry’ on Saturday at 11am. For tickets and further information please see www.vitalitylive.co.uk

See Healthy Soul’s article: Coping with Depression

Calendula, courtesy of A. Vogel

There’s something rather lovely about an English herb garden smelling sweet in the middle of summer and attracting a multitude of butterflies.  For thousands of years herbs have been grown for their medicinal purposes and herbal teas were the norm for a variety of ailments obviating the need to go to the doctor.

As far back as the 11th century medicinal herb gardens became the preserve of monasteries and by the 16th and 17th explorers had brought back more exotic species.  Their uses were immortalised by the 1660 publication of Culpepper’s Herbal, a book still used today.

Gradually apothecaries began appear in the UK’s major towns selling a variety of herbal medicines and natural remedies such as witch hazel and fig syrup.  However, modern medicine put paid to the acceptance and popularity of herbal remedies in the 1940s until the end of the century when the upsurge in  complementary medicine began.  

The current trend towards herbal remedies has prompted many people to grow their own again, for medicinal and culinary purposes. It means they have a regular supply of the herbs and that they know they haven’t been sprayed with unwanted pesticides.  However, medicinal herbs should never be consumed by anyone taking medication without consultation with their doctor or a registered medical herbalist. 

Plotting the patch

When picking the spot to grow your herbs try to make sure it gets plenty of sun where it’s protected from the wind.  The soil should drain well and if you compost your fruit and vegetable waste it will help to encourage healthy growth of the herbs.

Herbalist Anne McIntyre says, ‘If you’ve got the room I’d be inclined to divide the plot into culinary herbs and medicinal herbs.  Culinary herbs are easy to grow – the twiggy ones such as rosemary, sage, parsley, thyme and oregano  can be taken from cuttings, while coriander, basil and dill can be grown from seed.

‘If you want to grow mint I’d put it in a pot on its own or it takes over the patch completely. All of these herbs are great for use in cooking or for making teas.’

The medicinal properties of culinary herbs:

• Rosemary – put the leaves in a tea to improve circulation, and relieve headaches
• Sage – a tea of sage helps to relieve hot flushes in menopause and can be used as a gargle for sore throats
• Parsley – chewed raw it takes away the smell of garlic on the breath and is a diuretic to relieve water retention
• Thyme – antibacterial and antifungal, soothes sore throats in a gargle
• Coriander – the leaves can be used in cooking or teas to aid digestion
• Basil – the leaves made into a tea are good for digestion and for edgy nerves
• Dill – used in baby’s gripe water the seeds can be chewed to ease digestion or menstrual cramps and for bad breath
• Mint –  used in salads or four or five leaves cut up and made into a tea is good for upset stomachs, indigestion, and sinusitis.

How to make an infusion or tea

Put the leaves, flower or seeds in a teapot and fill up with boiling water. Allow to steep and pour through a strainer and drink as tea, or cool to use in a compress.  

Medicinal herbs

There are a number of medicinal herbs that make a very attractive feature in any garden.  ‘You could have a selection of herbs including Echinacea, Lemon Balm, Yarrow, Pot Marigold, Borage, Evening Primrose, and Lavender,’ says Anne McIntyre. 
Echinacea: Echinacea angustifolia or purpurea. Native to north America it has been used as a medicine by Indian tribes  for thousands of years.  They chew the plant, put it in soups to ward off infection and heal snake wounds, boils and abscesses with it.

‘Echinacea grows easily from seed and even though it’s a perennial you can collect the seeds and plant them for the following year,’ according to Anne McIntyre.  ‘You can use a handful of leaves and flowers to boost the immune system, keep away colds and flu, ward off infections and relieve arthritis.

Lemon Balm: Melissa officinalis. It was considered a symbolic plant which was used to send messages between lovers and to signify sympathy. It was claimed by Nicholas Culpepper that it ‘driveth away all troublesome cares and thoughts of the mind’. 

A member of the mint family Lemon Balm is easy to grow in pots or the herb patch.  The cut up leaves make a flavourful tea which is are good for relieving anxiety and tension, good for digestive problems, and warding off the cold sore (herpes) virus.  

Yarrow:  Achillea millifolium.  Often found on the side of roads and in hedgerows,  yarrow was believed to be used in the Trojan War over 3,000 years ago.  ‘It can be easily grown from seed and the flowers and leaves can be made into a tea to relieve fevers, colds and catarrh, diarrhoea and heavy periods,’ Anne explains.  ‘Externally it can be used as lotion for varicose veins, but it should not be used by pregnant women.’

Evening Primrose: Oenetheris biennis.  Well known to women as a solution to PMT, evening primrose is originally a native American herb but grows wild in Europe and is easy to cultivate. The  yellow flowers open late in the day and only last for one evening – hence the name. 

Anne says, ‘The oil from the seeds is particularly known for its high content of GLA (gamma-lineolic acid) which supplies many of the essential fatty acids the body needs for optimum health. Evening primrose oil is a traditional remedy for menstrual and problems such as PMS, for hot flushes in menopause and for arthritis.’
 

Pot Marigold – Calendula officinalis, was named by the Romans because it bloomed on the first day ‘calends’ of every month.  It’s an annual plant which flourishes in the British climate and its familiar orange flowers have antifungal, antiseptic and anti-inflammatory properties.  According to Anne McIntyre, ‘The petals can be made into a tea which serves as an excellent healing lotion for athlete’s foot, cuts and abrasions, as well as inflammatory and infected skin conditions. They look stunning when added to salads and rice and improve digestion and absorption of nutrients as well as boosting immunity!’

Borage: Borago officinalis.  Traditionally had a reputation for giving courage and was often given to men intent on proposing marriage.  ‘An annual self-seeding plant it grows well in Britain and the leaves and flowers have a reputation for relieving fever, easing coughs and colds, reducing fluid retention and lifting the spirits. The oil from the seeds contain GLA (gamma-lineolic acid), an essential fatty acid, and is also known as Starflower Oil which is renowned for easing arthritis, menopausal symptoms and high blood pressure.’ 

German chamomile: Matricaria chamomilla. About five of the daisy-like flowers are needed to make a  chamomile tea which is well known for calming and also eases bloated and upset stomachs.  The wet flowers from the tea can be made into a compress to use on itchy skin or eyes.  Chamomile grows easily from seed in the UK but needs to be replaced every year – it is said that if we get many more hot summers, a chamomile lawn will be the answer!

Lavender: Lavendula angustifolia.  No herb garden would be complete without lavender for its aroma, its pretty flowers and its medicinal properties. A perennial hardy it doesn’t take much work once it’s in and cuttings can be rooted by placing  in a well watered pot of compost. A lavender tea made from a teaspoon of fresh flowers or leaves with a half pint of water can help to relieve a bloated stomach, headache and it can make you sleep well – a sprig of lavender under the pillow has the same effect.

Roses: Anne McIntyre suggests that you grow old- fashioned roses which look and smell beautiful in the centre of the medicinal herb garden if there’s room!  ‘Rose oil contains quercetin, tannin and the petals have antiseptic, astringent and antibiotic properties. You can make a delicious tasting tea from the petals which is great for calming you down, improving mood, cooling anger and frustration and relieving a range of inflammatory problems. As a compress the tea makes a good lotion for calming inflammatory skin conditions.’

The wild patch

If you want to grow nettles for their blood purifying properties  they could take over so best to put them in a wild patch of the garden.  Made into a tea they can help to ease arthritis, helps kidney and bladder, prostate enlargement and chronic toxic states such as arthritis or severe skin complaints.  Nettle soup is made by combining  with potatoes and onions!
Anne McIntyre, registered medical herbalist, practises in Gloucestershire, Wales and London, 01451 810096, www.annemcintyre.com
Her books, The Top 100 Herbal Remedies and Drugs in Pots are available at Amazon - click on our Amazon carousel on the home page 

Anne gives guided walks and holds open days in summer at her own herb garden in Gloucestershire which represents A  Journey Through A Woman’s Life. The garden has been featured on BBC Gardener’s World

To find a registered medical herbalist contact: The National Institute for Medical Herbalists, www.nimh.org.uk  01392 426022

It really captured the media when a palliative nurse in Australia revealed the most common regrets of people dying and put them into a book entitled The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. They were:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

It is possible to avoid such regrets in life and leave peacefully without any sorrow over the past.  There are many things that we don’t have control over, such as other people dying, but we can’t really count them as our own regrets. What is key in a health sense is that Bronnie Ware, the Australian nurse, claimed that those people who settled for a mediocre existence by suppressing their feelings to keep the peace, developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried. This is real acknowledgement of the connection between mind, body and spirit.

She also claimed that every male patient she nursed felt that they had misse dtheir children’s youth and their partner’s companionship through working too hard. These men felt sad that they had spent a large part of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. 

It’s a real lesson in living life in the present and being aware that you are being true to yourself.  In the words of the author, ‘Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.’